Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
