Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize