I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
