I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize