1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
