We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
