I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
