I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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