She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
