I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
