just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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