Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
