I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
