i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
