I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
