Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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