So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
