rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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