So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
