You can't motorboat a personality
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
