We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
