I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize