I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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