yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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