he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
