Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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