i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
And then my night got REAL pukey
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
