I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
two words: eviction party
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
