You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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