So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
