his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
