plz talk dirty to me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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