so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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