Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
