i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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