I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize