I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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