The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
