I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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