I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
