I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
