i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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