It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
