I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Even my vagina gasped.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
