There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
