Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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