good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
