We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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