just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
