Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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