Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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