If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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