Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize