Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
