New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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