were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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