coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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