What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
