We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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