Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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