shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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