I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
