shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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