Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.

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(917): View more from New York City

and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.

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(607): View more from New York

The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me

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(520): View more from Arizona

The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.

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(936): View more from Texas

I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.

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(206): View more from Washington

I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?

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