I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
