its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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