Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
