tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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