talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
do nipples grow back?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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